Want to read the actual review without the madness? Here it is!
Title: Sherlock Holmes: The Red-Headed League
Author: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Publisher : The Strand Magazine
Synopsis: Sherlock Holmes and Watson find themselves in another puzzling mystery. The red headed Mr. Jabez (Jay-Bez) Wilson asks them to look into the peculiar experience he has had with the Red-Headed League. Is everything as it seems here? Or is there more behind this fiery haired fellowship?
Sherlock Holmes: (The game is a foot!) Is the quintessential arm-chair detective. He uses his masterful powers of deduction to solve his client’s cases.
Dr. John Watson: (By Jove! That’s incredible!!!!!) Is Holmes’ stalwart sidekick! He follows Holmes around on his adventures and is a good man to have in a fight.
Mr. Jabez Wilson: (I can’t make heads or tails about it!) Is a pawnbroker with flaming red hair. After losing his lucrative job to a mysterious notice, he turns to Holmes to crack the case!
Vincent Spaulding: (Just a moment, I’ll be right back!) Is Mr. Wilson’s hardworking assistant with a pastime as an avid photographer.
Mira: I got bored a little bit. It was hard to understand, and I didn’t get what they were talking about.
Chaska: Well, this is 130 years old. The language has changed a lot, and back then they didn’t write mysteries for kids.
Lani: I thought it was pretty interesting, you have all the clues and I never put them together until the end.
Chaska: I kind of already knew the ending, but I liked how he got there.
Lani: It’s not going to be very interesting for young readers
Mira: Like me!
Chaska: But if you get around the old-timey speech, this is a really cool mystery.
Holmes: Well Watson, what do you make of it all?
Watson: (frankly) I make nothing of it. It is a most mysterious business.
Holmes: As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter.
Watson: What are you going to do then?
Holmes: To smoke. It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won’t speak to me for fifty minutes.
Narrator: He curled himself up in his chair, with his knees drawn up to his hawk-like nose, and there he sat with his eyes closed and his black pipe thrusting out like the bill of some strange bird.